It’s My Party and I’ll Fly if I Want toBeta:
Many thanks to catherder.Pairing:
Late night conversations and too much caffeine make for strange bedfellows.
This represents the combined mania of Kasman, Lelu and Milla. Many thanks to Lelu and Milla. It’s been a blast guys. Thank you for bringing my idea to life. I don’t think any of the three of us could have done that on our own. The setting is our KLM Dimension AU – no bloody virus. Late S1 but Renfro is dead.Warning:
Do not drink and read!!
This story was in response to a ghost story challenge from the Cape Haven writer's group to write a Max/Logan ghost story of 1500 words or less. Yes, I am aware of the fact that our word count is way over…but come on, there were three of us involved in the writing…or should that be four??…It's My Party and I'll Fly if I Want To
It was a beautiful fall evening in Seattle. The man in the moon looked in on the penthouse and winked at the man sitting at the window. Logan was putting the final touches on what he hoped to be the perfect evening. He wheeled away from the window and looked around. He neglected to see the black cat that trotted along the window ledge outside. Logan tallied off what he needed. Candles, wine, music...Pinot Grigio or maybe Cabernet...no, Pinot would be better. It won't overwhelm the scampi. Do I need more candles?
A knock at the door brought him out of his reverie. He gave a quick look around the room, still not noticing the small black cat, which was now sitting in the corner. Logan wheeled to the door, opened it and smiled.
"Logan," she replied, as she sauntered in the room. As usual, Max looked beautiful, dressed in an off-shoulder black blouse, tight, low cut jeans, and a silver belt dangling around her waist. She turned to him and eyed him appreciatively.
"So what's for dinner?" she asked.
Logan smiled his beautiful smile, unveiling perfect white teeth. His gorgeous eyes sparkled behind small wire-rimmed frames, trailing to his perfectly formed ears. Max's eyes traveled down his exquisite jawline to the opening of the electric blue shirt he was wearing. The shirt set off to perfection the line of his broad wonderful shoulders, the defined muscles of his biceps... "Psst…Lelu…psst…the story, the story, get back to the story! Drool on your own time!" exclaimed Kasman and Milla together.
"What? The story? Oh the story...Got ya...humm where was I? Okay then.”
Max walked into the living room. "Smells great!" she said, looking toward the kitchen. "Your best china, linen table cloth, fresh flowers. What's the occasion?"
"No occasion, Max, it's just you, me, dinner, and a little wine. We've been so busy lately; Eyes Only, your family...thought we could use some down time. I even turned off my phone."
Logan grinned up at Max, reveling in the return of a delighted grin from her.
"You turned off the phone! Wow! That's an occasion in itself."
Max's eyes sparkled in anticipation as she looked at Logan. She watched him as he effortlessly prepared the scampi and brought it to the table. He opened the wine, and still neither of them noticed the small black cat. It gave a kitty grin and licked its chops.
They conversed over dinner and wine, talking of inconsequential things. Logan told her a story about him and Bennett, and Max shared a story about Sketchy. They laughed together as they drew closer over wine. Finally, Max got up to clear the table, and Logan took the wine and glasses to the living room. He carefully transferred to the couch and waited for Max.
Max walked from the kitchen toward the couch. As she neared it, Bast's representative darted between her legs, causing her to lose her balance. She tripped, falling into Logan's arms, bringing them nose to nose. Logan stiffened in surprise and anticipation.
Max began to grin and almost purr. "Is that a pickle in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" she asked seductively, licking her lips in expectation.
The black cat washed her face in satisfaction, then hissed and jumped away.
The room began a subtle tilt and it suddenly grew colder. A hole opened up in the living room and Jonas floated through.
"Junior is this where the party is? Where's the Glenlivet?"
Logan, who was just about to engage Max in a long kiss, groaned. He turned his head and looked up in surprise and a little fear. "Jonas?"
Max jumped up, irritated. "What now, Logan? What is with you?"
She turned and saw Jonas grinning lecherously at her. Her eyes widened in surprise as she turned back to Logan. "What's going on here?"
Looking over Logan's shoulder, Max did another double take. Floating down from the skylight was Tinga, followed by Ben and Eva.
"Ben, hold still. I'm trying to put your head on straight," Tinga said, as she floated to the ground.
The X5s slowly made their way toward Max and Logan. Tinga, her skin tinted a pale blue, was clad in tight black leather pants and jacket. Ben trailed behind her, his head dangling to the side, lolling about on his shoulder. Eva emerged around him, her chest gaping open from her bullet wound.
“Hey, baby sister,” Tinga said.
“Holy cow, Logan. What is this? Spook central?” Max asked, startled.
She sat back down next to Logan, and squeezed his hand for reassurance, pressing her body close to his. He could feel her warm skin, smell her delicious scent, her soft hair brushing against…Milla: Logan! Snap out of it!
Milla: Quit daydreaming and get your mind out of the gutter! I’m trying to write a story here…this is supposed to be a reunion between Max and her siblings!
Logan: Oh, sorry.
Milla: Men! Sheesh. Sorry, readers, now on with the story.
Max squeezed Logan’s hand for reassurance, and pressed her body close to his. “What are you guys doing here?” she asked.
“Just thought we’d join the party,” Ben replied.
“Hi Max,” Eva said shyly. Her hospital gown hid her little frame.
"What party?! Who invited you to a party? We just had dinner!" Logan said, clearly frustrated.
Max stared at her siblings, unsure of what to say. Shrugging, they turned away and drifted around the room. Max could hear Eva’s child-like voice above the chatter.
“Ben, I already told you, they’re permanent…you can't have my teeth!” Eva protested.
“Yeah, Ben,” Tinga said. “Do you know how gross that is? Get your hands out of her mouth and don't try to give me any more teeth!”
"But you're the Blue Lady," Ben said plaintively.
Jonas butted in again. "Junior, where's the whiskey?"
Logan pointedly ignored the intrusion, running his fingers through Max's long hair as they stared at each other, trying to pretend that none of this was happening. Max, for her part, was becoming increasingly alarmed, and having a hard time concentrating on Logan's beautiful eyes, which peered at her with concern from behind the lenses of his glasses.
Arnie Haas, the Defenestrated Guy, a thief to the end, sneaked in through the front door, which was, as usual, unlocked, and started to case the joint. Max tore her gaze away from Logan's eyes briefly, and caught Arnie trying to steal the silver candlesticks. He had a sack in one hand and was trying to tip them in with the other, but his hand kept going through the metal.
Max jumped up and yelled. "Hey, what the hell are you doing?! You're a ghost! You can't steal stuff! What're ya gonna do with them? Fence them? Get real."
The Defenestrated Guy looked at Max, startled, but kept on trying to steal the candlesticks.
Renfro, her power-dresser business suit dotted with bloodstains, floated in from the balcony. "Hello 452. I see you're finally making a move on pretty boy. If I were still alive, I might too," she said, eyeing Logan.
"Move? What move?" Logan asked hopefully.
"Great! Just great," Max said. Tinga came running across the room to get to Renfro.
“Well, hello there,” Tinga said to Renfro, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I see you ended up where you belong. You couldn’t at least do something about this ghastly blue skin of mine before you did me in? Limits my wardrobe options big time."
Logan turned a baleful glare on Jonas. "What!!?"
"You're wasting time here, Junior." Jonas waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "She's a nice piece of tail. Why haven't you made a move on her yet? And where's the damned Glenlivet?!"
Logan turned a bright shade of red and started to respond, but was stopped by Max.
Offended, Max turned on the sarcasm. "Jonas, I can’t see your hat."
"What do you mean you can't see my hat?"
"Well, it's not on your ass. And ghost or no ghost, I can put it there if you catch my meaning."
Jonas, not sure how to respond to that, sidled up to Renfro. "Hey, want to have a drink with me?"
Suddenly, Bruno came out of the bathroom, zipping up his pants. He turned to check out Tinga.
"Hey, lady, what's a nice girl like you doing in a dump like this?" he asked her.
"Geez, that line was old when I was alive. I would have thought you’d have learned something new by now." Tinga rolled her eyes.
Bruno ignored her. “C’mon, sugah, how about a lap-dance?”
“Why don’t I just kick your ass?” Tinga sneered.
“You want me to snap his neck for you, sis?” Ben asked.
“Nahh, that's okay. I got it.” She turned to Bruno. “Listen, sleazebag, go find a lady who's interested.”Lelu: Hey, he's really cute.
Milla: Ewww, gross!
Lelu: Not him...him! *pointing at Logan* Bruno...pfft...but Logan. OMG! *sighs deeply*
Kasman: Psst, psst, the story, the story!
“Yeah,” Tinga said. “You writers need to shut up so I can kick this moron’s ass.”
And with that, Tinga kicked Bruno’s ass. He dissolved into a pale gray fog.
"Crap!" came a disembodied voice from the middle of the fog. "It's gonna take me hours to rematerialize." The fog drifted out of the room, cussing as it went.Kasman: Yes, Milla?
Milla: So, Defenestrated Guy can’t pick up candlesticks, but Tinga can kick Bruno’s ass?
Lelu: Hey! This is fanfic. They can kick ass if we want them to!
Meanwhile, Ben and Eva were in the corner, huddled close together. Eva’s tinkly giggle occasionally cut through the din, while she listened intently as Ben told her stories of her siblings.
Max and Logan were totally struck dumb by now—they were in a daze—breathlessly clinging to each other, watching all the activity swirl around them.
Jonas came back from the kitchen where he had been looking for the whiskey, Renfro in tow. They were getting very chummy, until he pinched her bottom. Renfro stood back and slapped him fair across the face; a roundhouse blow that send him reeling. Max threw back her head and roared with laughter, wishing she'd done that at Bennett's wedding.
Unfortunately for Max, Logan's hands were twined in her hair, and he almost pulled it out by the roots in alarm when she started to laugh. Max grabbed at his hand behind her head and tried to disentangle herself from his grip, but not even an X5 could have done that by now. It wasn't because Logan didn't want to let go, but frankly, he was stuck. Finally, he was able to get his hands free without pulling out too much hair.
"Ouch!" Max said, glaring at Logan.
"Sorry, I was stuck," Logan said contritely.
Suddenly, another figure began to materialize in a glittery cloud. "Stardate 4309. This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. I have embarked on a mission to find Mr. Spock, who disappeared after achieving bad ratings in the NBC universe. I am hoping to correct that problem. Besides, he's the only one who could act. I have landed in what appears to be another universe, peopled by only the most beautiful. Perhaps I should stay. Kirk out." Kirk looked at the group, who was staring back in fascination. He smiled, attempted to suck in his gut, and promptly began to turn blue.
Tinga looked at Kirk. "If you keep that up long enough you could be one of us.” She turned back to Ben. "What do you think, Ben?"
"That pompous windbag. I could kick his ass with my neck broken," Ben replied.
"Ah...Ben...your neck is
broken," Tinga said.
Kirk let out his breath and his gut. He began to gasp. "You're ghosts?!" he said, turning pale.
Logan lay back on the couch and began to giggle hysterically. "Damn it Jim, I'm a cyberjournalist, not a time traveler!"
A loud mechanical whirring noise signaled the appearance of an old-fashioned British police call box, with a flashing blue light on the top. It attempted to materialize in the living room…several times…but didn't quite succeed. Logan looked at the partially materialized TARDIS. What the hell, now?! he thought.
"Who?" he said.
“Who's that?" Max asked.
"Dr. Who," Logan said again.
"Max, did you slip some X in my Pinot?"Kasman: Come to think of it, did she slip some X in her own Pinot?
Logan turned and made the timeout sign with his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"Kasman: Wow, look at his beautiful hands. I've only seen hands like that once before…long strong fingers…musician’s hands…
Milla: Mmmm, yes…long elegant fingers…lingering on her neck…stroking…
Kasman: Milla, wipe the drool off your keyboard, please.
Milla: Oh, okay, but I think I need a mop.
Logan continued. "Hey, you guys! Yes, you! The writers! Would you cut it out? This is supposed to be a Dark Angel ghost fic, not some kind of weird sci-fi crossover. Get on with the plot!"Kasman: Uh-oh. He's sounding pissy, we better get on with the plot, guys…but on the other hand, well, you all know how much I like pissy Logan…*grins maniacally*
With a metallic whirrrrrrrrrr and a flash of the blue light, the TARDIS finally vanished from the living room.
"This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise," he intoned pretentiously. “I believe I have been transported to a universe full of nuts. Beam me up, Scotty."
"Not in this friggin life. I've always hated your guts! Beam your own self up!" Scotty said from the ether.
Kirk, not knowing what to do, left by the front door muttering about jealousy.
Bruno, now recovered from being dematerialized by Tinga, leered suggestively at Renfro. "Hey, chicky, how about a lap-dance?" he asked.
Renfro obviously liked what she saw. "Hey, I used to be a go-go dancer in a former life. I wouldn't mind checking out your pad. Let's go, you gorgeous man, you." She linked arms with Bruno, and they vanished in a puff of smoke.
Max looked at where the two had just vanished. "What the hell was that about?!" she exclaimed.
She watched as the Defenestrated Guy tried to steal the candlesticks one last time before slinking in the direction of the front door, where he disappeared, a forlorn expression on his face.
The little black cat watched with gleaming eyes from under the sideboard as the X5s said their farewells and drifted off. "Finally," the cat thought.
At last, Jonas found the whiskey bottle. "Junior, can you pour me a scotch? I can't seem to get a grip on this thing." Getting no response, he staggered across the room and faded out.
Max looked around forlornly at the mess that was Logan's apartment. "For ghosts they sure made a mess," she said. "It's always something, Logan. We never catch a break. If it's not Eyes Only or my family, it's...ghosts. I should just go," she said sadly.
Logan stood up and put his arms around her. "There's not a ghost of a chance you're leaving here."
"Logan! You're on your feet...how?"
"This is a fic…we can do anything we want...like this." He placed his finger under her chin and tilted her lips up to meet his. Leaning into her, he kissed her deeply.
The music began to rise as Max and Logan slowly danced around the room.
The small black cat smiled and faded from the room, leaving her smile behind.The EndMilla: Hey! What happened to the cheesy epilogue line?
Lelu: What cheesy epilogue line?
Kasman: Epilogue: And so the sun sets on another day in this broken world. Together, who knows?
Lelu: I don’t like it.
Milla: Well, I do!
Lelu: It’s too cheesy!
Kasman: And the rest of it isn't?
Milla: I like the cheese, damnit!
Kasman: Me too. Cheese is good.
Kasman: Red Leicester.
Lelu: Monterrey Jack.
Milla: Kyre!? Where did you come from?
“Enough with the cheese!” Logan roared. “Max and I are trying to dance here and you are ruining the…”
Suddenly he was drowned out by the sound of Max’s rumbling stomach. “Sorry! I can’t help it!” she protested. “All that talk about cheese!”
“Well,” Logan said, “looks like the writers have jetted for the kitchen, so it’s up to us to finish this fic, Max.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” she asked slyly.
Logan cleared his throat. “Epilogue: And so the sun sets on another day in this broken world.”
Max smiled at him. “Together, who knows?”