Of intervening time and place (J2 - future fic)author: kasman
from the Battlements ‘verse by calamitycrow
(used...er...enabled with permission)beta: zubeneschamalirating:
2,605 or sodisclaimer:
I don’t own nuffin’, calamitycrow
owns Battlements, she enabled this, so I’m guessing it’s OK. And she keeps poking me for more…Thanks for letting me play, hun. :) Title
from Gunn’s The HugNote 1:
If you know the Battlements ‘verse, well, this is a timestamp. If you don’t, then, first off you have so missed out, but I think this actually makes some sense without it – pretty sure you can figure it out. If you want more information, just go read Battlements.Note 2:
And I’m not the only one who has been dabbling. Go read calamitycrow’s Routines as well. Looks like mum and I are sharing the keys to the car currently…artwork
by naisicaOf intervening time and place
Jared slowly worked in the shampoo as Jensen leaned his head towards him, a small, happy grin on his face, eyes slitted against the suds and spray. It was humiliating to need someone else to bathe him, but this? This was good, this was worth all the humiliation in the world.
Jensen had always loved having his head massaged. It had always been one of the most pleasurable aspects of having his hair and makeup done on set, so when Jared rinsed the shampoo out and reached for the conditioner, shoved himself in close to Jensen, and started to slowly, firmly rub it into his hair, he groaned with pleasure and leaned into Jared’s hands as much as he could, eyes closed, forehead resting against Jared’s hard stomach. It was relaxing and arousing at the same time. His body was definitely telling him that. He opened his eyes briefly, looking down, and grinned at the evidence that Jared was obviously feeling much the same. Jensen reached out his hand and waited for the expected answering shiver to run through Jared’s body, hands stuttering in place on Jensen’s head. “Jesus.”
“You OK up there?” Jensen smirked.
“Oooh, yeah, I’m fine.”
Jensen gave a short laugh. “You wanna maybe come a bit closer?” he growled.
“Any closer and I’ll be in back of ya,” he quipped, but straddled Jensen’s left knee anyway, feet braced apart.
Jensen again reached up a hand to touch, this time bringing his mouth down as well, now things were in reach, suckling, humming, running his hand along the shaft rhythmically, his thumb on the underside. He could feel Jared restraining himself from pumping into Jensen, and released just long enough to say, “It’s OK, I can handle it.”
“Not sure I can.”
Jensen laughed huskily. He knew it wouldn’t be long. Jared pumped a couple of times and then Jensen’s throat filled and Jared released Jensen’s head to lean his arms against the wall. Jensen straightened up as Jared melted into the wall and slid down onto the bench seat beside him. “You OK?” he grinned, cocking his head.
“Oh, yeahhhhhh…” Jared slid his arm around Jensen’s shoulders, pulling him closer, tipped Jensen’s head up with a forefinger to the chin, leaned in to kiss.
Jensen smiled into the kiss, opened his mouth to the eager thrust of Jared’s tongue, knowing Jared would be tasting his own saltiness in Jensen’s mouth. Water poured over them, but they were both oblivious as Jared’s hand dropped to Jensen’s lap and started to jack him off.
Jensen stood still as Jared toweled him off and wrapped him in the soft, thick robe supplied by the hotel, then guided him to sit in the wheelchair. The chair was a manual one rented for the purpose of the trip. Airlines were notorious for causing damage to wheelchairs and Jensen hadn't been prepared to risk his expensive electric chair at their hands; all he had brought with him was his own chair cushions, which were a much better quality than those supplied by the medical supplies place, and which had fit into a suitcase. It had irked him somewhat that they hadn't been able to rent a chair he could drive himself, but for a short period of time, and for the purpose of the trip, he was prepared to put up with it. And Jared seemed to be having fun as driver. Jensen cocked his head, looking up at Jared, suddenly aware that he was under scrutiny.
“You be OK for a few minutes while I…” Jared trailed off.
“Sure,” Jensen grinned, happy just to watch.
Jared swung the chair around so that Jensen was facing front on then stepped back into the shower. He had gotten as far as starting to rinse himself off when there was a distant loud bang and the lights went out. Jensen heard Jared’s soft exclamation, “Crap.”
“Jared?” Jensen’s voice was hesitant.
“Yeah, hang on.”
There was a fumble and the water shut off, then a thud and an, “Ow, shit.” Hopping noises, the swish of a towel and a body brushed past, knocking against the back of the wheelchair. “Sorry.”
“Just give me a minute here.”
The noise of a bag being picked up and placed on the vanity unit, rummaging, and then the sound of a match being struck and there was the diffused light of a candle.
“Yeah, thanks.” Jensen looked down. "You're bleeding."
"Shit, I think I kinda clipped the...the frame getting out of the shower. Shit." He hopped on one foot for a minute, wrapping the towel around his big toe to stem the flow. "Think I need a Band-Aid. Ow, that stings!"
Jensen cackled and rolled his eyes. "Well, the bathroom is supposed to be the most dangerous room in the house, after all."
There was a knock at the door. Jared quickly pulled the towel up and draped it in front of himself as Ty stuck his head around the door, face lit from below by a small flashlight. "You guys all right?"
"Yeah, Ty, we're fine. Think you could find Jared a Band-Aid?" Jensen asked with a grin.
"Sure, baby. Um ...Neil's gone to find out what happened...how long before the power comes back on."
"Oh, OK, thanks."
Jared sat down on the edge of the bed, concern in his tone. “Jen…” Jared paused, leaving a question hanging in the air.
“What is it, Jared?” Jensen turned his head slightly, looked at him, a question hovering on his face.
“Why is it you’re so freaked by the dark these days? I mean, you never used to be.”
Jensen sighed and looked up towards the ceiling. This was going to be hard. “I guess it all springs from when I was first…in the hospital,” he finally said. “You have to understand, when I first regained consciousness, after…after the original infection, I couldn’t move…anything…do anything for myself.” He pulled a wry face. “Not that I can do all that much now, but then, I couldn’t walk, couldn’t use my arms, couldn’t feed myself, hell, I even had problems swallowing. They had me in a rigid clamshell brace to allow my spine to heal. I had very little sensation, and what I had wasn’t useful. Just a touch or a change of temperature or even exercises could cause excruciating muscle spasms. Really, my only useful sense was my eyes. And…and I was in a hospital. It was never really 100% dark.”
“I got used to being able to see what was happening all the time, and then when I eventually came home, Neil needed to be able to see at night. And even then, I still had virtually no use of…anything. I had to use a sip-puff mechanism on…on my wheelchair because I couldn’t use my hand. I think I just got used to always having some light in the room, and now, it’s like…like I’m in a sensory deprivation chamber when the lights are out. It…”
Jared clasped his hand tighter around Jensen’s and Jensen turned his head more, looking Jared right in the eyes, his expression troubled. “I guess it scares me a little.”
“You don’t need to be afraid anymore. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” Jared released Jensen's hand and touched him affectionately under the chin.
“Oh, if only it were that simple,” Jensen smiled wryly.
“Yeah, I guess.” Jared gave a little shiver and rubbed his hands up his arms. Ty had lit the fire, but it definitely wasn’t as warm as it had been with the central heating.
"It's the same with...well, I can't ever be really alone. It's not safe."
"Yeah, I know, but you don't have to be."
"I hate being so..." Jensen's voice trailed off and he gave a frustrated sigh.
"You don't have to be alone, Jensen."
"I know, but sometimes, you know... it gets wearing having people around all the time. Sometimes, it's like I'd just like the illusion."
"What, you trying to get rid of me already?" Jared teased.
"Of course not. But you know..."
“Yeah, I do."
"I don't have any privacy. Not anymore. Nothing I can do about it." He gave another sigh.
"Ya know, I always kinda envied you - the way you moved, and all."
Jensen cocked his head, raised an eyebrow at the almost-non sequitur.
Jared gave a lopsided grin. "I mean, sure, I'm bigger, stronger...heavier. You know, that question that used to come up at the conventions?"
Jensen studied Jared's face, wondering where he was leading.
"You always said I was stronger and heavier, had more reach, but you were quick."
"I kinda envied that. I mean, you always made stuff...look so easy, ya know? Kinda graceful. I'm too...lanky to be graceful."
"Not so graceful anymore." Jensen grimaced then gave a rueful smile.
"I know," Jared sighed, "and I'm sorry for that."
Jensen shook his head. "Nothin' I can do about it. And definitely not your fault."
"But...you'd probably be a lot worse off now, ya know? If you hadn't been...you know..."
"Yeah, I guess."
Jared made an impatient movement with his hand. "Come on, let’s try and get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.”
Jensen chuckled. “Yeah.” Jensen looked up into Jared's face, and sing-songed, "We're gettin' married in the evening..." The flickering light of the candle was nice, casting Jared into planes and shadows. He was glad Jared had thought to bring one of the bigger candles as well as the smaller scented ones. Looked like they were going to need it for the time being.
“Gonna get cold in here tonight. I’m thinking that we need to, ah, make use of some body heat,” Jared smiled, his mood instantly lightening, cheeks dimpling.
“And that would be different to what we usually do in what way?”Jensen grinned.
Jared grinned back. “Watch and learn.”
Jensen was silent as Jared pushed back the covers and rolled him onto his right side, supporting his left hand with one pillow and placing another between his legs and a lower one under his head, then covered him over again. Jared then walked around and slid into bed behind him. He ran one arm under Jensen’s neck and pulled him close against his chest, molded his legs up against Jensen’s like a second skin, getting as close as he possibly could, even to the extent of parking his knee up on the back edge of the same pillow he'd placed between Jensen's legs.
“You comfy there?” Jensen asked as Jared slid his free arm over his body and worked his hand up under the hem of Jensen’s t-shirt. Jared’s body radiated heat and his hand was like a heating pad on Jensen’s chest. Jensen moved his left hand off the supporting pillow, covered Jared's hand with his over the top of the t-shirt, pressing his fingers into the fabric so that they interwove. The shared contact was almost more intimate than anything else they ever did.
“’M good. Warm enough?”
“Yeah, ‘m good. Got my own personal human heating pad.”
Jared huffed a laugh that ruffled Jensen’s hair and tickled his ear, caused his flesh to goosebump. He gave a little shiver. "Hey! Thought you were supposed to be keeping me warm!"
“Sure you’re OK?”
“More than OK,” Jensen said firmly as Jared snuggled into him infinitesimally more, nipping gently at his ear. He felt Jared relax and then Jensen sensed, rather than felt, movement as Jared groped until he managed to find Jensen's right hand under the covers, accidentally giving a harder bite as he concentrated on his search. "Hey, if that leaves a mark, you're explaining it to Neil!"
Jared huffed another laugh. "Yeah, all right." He finally found Jensen's hand, started to gently manipulate and massage it with strong fingers in a modified one-handed way, paying particular attention to the pressure points. Intensive physical therapy was slowly giving Jensen back some limited function of the arm, but he was unlikely to ever regain any useful function of his right hand - the damage to his spinal cord was just too high and too severe. However, Jared's gentle manipulations were slowly, over time, loosening the joints in his fingers so that while they still curled under in a loose fist unless they were forced flat, at least they were no longer as stiff as they had been, and he was less self-conscious of it as a result. And even with the faulty, incomplete sensation in his right hand, Jared's work on the pressure points felt good, right, helped ease him into sleep.
The sound of the front door of the cabin opening and a soft conversation between Neil and Ty didn't disturb him until Neil knocked softly at the door and poked his head into the opening. "Everything OK?" he asked, his expression, revealed by the glow of the flashlight he held in his hand, amused at what was obviously a shared cocoon.
"Yeah, we're good," Jensen responded drowsily, and from the tone of his voice, it was obvious he was, despite having been woken from a light slumber.
"They're working on the power, but it might take a while, and the generator has failed as well; the hotel has called in the maintenance crew."
"OK, thanks. Go to bed. We'll call you if we need anything."
Jensen heard Neil and Ty go, and then suddenly realised that the darkness was... too complete. The candle on the night stand must have gone out while he was asleep, probably with the draft from the door opening. He tensed, and then felt his body gently squeezed by Jared.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's OK. I'm not going anywhere."
"I know, it's just..." He sighed and rubbed his head into the pillow. "I'm just kinda feeling a bit...freaked, I guess."
"Do you want me to relight the candle?"
Jensen shook his head. "Uh, no, it's OK, but, do you think...maybe...you could massage my hand again?"
Jared chuckled. "I think that could be arranged," he said as he again felt for Jensen's right hand. This time he also pulled out his other hand from under Jensen's t-shirt to do the job properly. Jensen felt oddly bereft at the loss of the extra heat, but soon started to relax again as Jared dropped a light kiss on his neck and worked his magic on Jensen's hand.
"Love you..." Jensen murmured.
"You better," Jared mumbled back, "coz otherwise, we're making a huge mistake."
Jensen huffed one final laugh and closed his eyes in sleep.